With each passing day, Facebook is more and more like a Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Everyone we know is getting younger and younger! It was fine when it was just Throw-Back-Thursday. But then it was Way-Back-Wednesday and Twenty-Years-Ago-Tuesday and now every day is some sort of tribute to the past. Shit. We don’t remember what half our friends look like anymore because the only pictures they post on Facebook are pictures where they have hair, hips, or the last remnants of teenage acne.

I get it, Christopher Walken; youth was once your friend. You looked swell. But when 99% of what you post on Facebook are pictures before Old Man Time came up and beat the crap out of you with the dreaded Monkey Wrench of Middle Age, well, you’re living in the past. Besides, old Christopher Walken is the best Christopher Walken.

Mau! MAU! DIDI MAU!