Funny story.

Back in the early 90s, I worked as a short order cook in a Waffle House. You’d think it was the worst job and the world and, ah, who am I kidding, it sucked. But I got all the chicken and waffles a guy could eat and I met a lot of interesting people. “Interesting” is actually me being very political. I met my share of weirdoes, wackos, and strippers turned truck drivers. (There are more out there than you would imagine.)

It was at the Waffle House that I met Chance Finklestein, a “reformed” serial killer formerly of Rhode Island. When I asked him how a serial killer could be “reformed”, he shrugged meekly and answered that now he killed people only for money not for fun. I think it was a joke. But he seemed nice enough and for whatever reason, he couldn’t get enough of our #23 plate and the black death we called coffee.

Anyway, my smart alec wit always landed me on the 3rd shift which was fine because I was mad about this punkish bbw (big boned waitress) that worked nights. No surprise, it was after hours that Chance Finklestein always showed up, asking for #23 and to have his thermos filled with black death. I liked chatting with the skinny, crooked man quizzing him with details and trying to determine if he was for real or not.

I remember very clearly one evening, I made some stupid joke about killing the babysitter when he looked up, straight into my eyes.

“Kill the babysitter and ruin any hope of a future date night? Never.”

I couldn’t imagine the twisted little man actually having a wife, much less kids, but he seemed dead serious. Very serious indeed.

31 Halloween Films for Kids Who Can’t See R-Rated Movies Yet.

#2 – Monster House

Monster House is so much better than it has any right to be. I’m sorry but I hate that capture animation bullsh*t but Monster House is brilliant with its scary villain and perfect tone. I don’t think there is a wasted shot or scene. Everything can be tied back into the story as either foreshadowing or a detail that simply enriches the story more. And if you can get past the improvised dialog and the distracting computer animation, there’s a theme of wholesome Americana that can be seen in each of the children, like a Norman Rockwell painting gone wrong.

While it’s not only funny, Monster House is also genuinely hair raising and freaky WTF to boot.

If you’ve never checked it out, don’t wait any longer. It’s strange and haunting and the perfect movie for Halloween.



Full List of Films
#31 – Tremors
#30 – ParaNorman
#29 – Signs
#27 – Hellboy
#26 – Gremlins
#24 – The Mummy
#22 – Warm Bodies
#21 – Them!
#19 – Scrooged
#18 – Super 8
#17 – IT
#14 – The Mask
#12 – Teen Wolf
#7 – Zathura
#3 – 9